Warangal

His eyes are misty, because of the visions of the past
The movie of life is ending and vanishing is its cast
He takes a long drag at his cigarette, and stares outside
He sees himself at Warangal, with his friends by his side.

Those days spent in terrified self imprisonment
Just to escape the seniors and their forgettable punishment
The eagerness to celebrate the Fresher’s Day
When with whom he feared, he could play.

The early morning classes, which he thought were a pain
Now he craves those times come back again.
The heavy lunches and the afternoon lab tensions
The struggle for a five minute, peaceful sleeping session.

The slog in those fleeting nights, just before the exams
To satiate, the ruthless professors and all their tantrums.
The post mortems at the canteen about how he fared
The prospects of a GPA slump, which would leave him scared.

The endless nights he spent with AOE and Quake.
Going to Sinnu’s for a much deserved break
The pointless debates and the intellectual conversations
The scrambled noises of everyone’s expectations

Those drunken nights and the days so wasted
The miserable fights which he so hated
The scurrying around for the campus offer
The griping about, what he got was never proper.

Those times he walked round the LH lawn
In the evenings and sometimes at dawn
Hoping that the girl he doted would smile at him
Alas it still remains an unfulfilled dream.

The rush before noon, for chicken at the mess
The dinners at Kalinga, even when the dimes were scarce
The cricket and football, he played in the scorching heat
The quizzes and the books he exchanged to read.

From this stupor he is suddenly shaken
Checks his watch to see that he is not mistaken.
It is nine in the morning, not a time to daze
He has to head for work and into the monitor,endlessly gaze.

Goddard's delusionary reveletions

Comrades

They are my mates in a strange land
For my trouble do they stand
In a place so gloomy they fetch me some light
Always telling me what is wrong from what is right

So sweet is their innocence I wish it never fades
So chirpy their company I hope it always stays
Many a times they have cooked me fish and rice
And added somethng in my life called spice

One is a Queen of the Social Networking sites
About spilts and make ups she often spies
A sublime blend she is of beauty and wit
Sometimes with a drink in her company I do sit

The other is a kid so gullible and pure
Stabs me with her humour which is so obscure
Cherubic is she, her caring divine
Tolerates my insanity that’s all so fine

In their company the times now I cherish
Touchwood! Hope these moments never perish.

Themeless Epiphany

To my flatmates.....

The nights so sleepless
A life so listless
I sit on this bag clueless
Writing something mindless

Raconteurs sprawled around me tell their story
Of the fame of their past and also about future glory
Someone tells his stories of Voyeurism
And how he is influenced by the ideals of Nazism

The fires of gossip are lit
I fit in a tale to befit
Of voodoo the guy from Centre he speaks
And of the books that nowadays he reads

The guy from North speaks of his adventure in foreign lands
And his last job where he used to design stands
I too have a story to say
Its in black and white no way grey

We smoked some cigarettes, drank some beer
Someone starts talking about ghosts and his morbid fear
Our stories went on till the end of the night
By morning I had this poem to write

I swear..Will you?

Insomnia

There was once a boy who loved his drink
Often about his life he used to think
Thoughts about the childhood lost
And the pain in his heart he could not exhaust

Of how his mother would feed him before school
And his father would join him in the swimming pool
Of how his sister’s pony tail he used to tie
Of how he fought with her and made her cry

Of the friends with whom he shared his lunch
And his sweet quarrels with them which were settled with a punch.
Of the cigarette butts they used to gather from the road
And smoke them hiding, behind a broken old billboard

Of the fear of exams and homework
But never missing his games just like clockwork
Of the pretty girls in the neighborhood whom he wanted to impress
By dreaming of rescuing them during a time of distress

Of the teachers who were friendly and sometimes rough
Of how his mother would cark even if it was a harmless cough
Gushing in like a torrent often do these memories creep
In the morning he wonders why the night before, he could not sleep

Will it always be this way.....

Yeah I am lost.Lost in the banal pursuits. Slogging hard to live up to the hypocritical expectations.Sometimes i push myself so far that i fear i might topple over...Its only the addictions which has kept me sane.But, for how long????...
The memories come floating in front of my eyes....Cranium stopped, peception lost.....Ah!! the bliss.
Pschycedelic visions of days gone by......I keep hallucinating all the time.I try to seek,but.......

Destroyed ..is what I feel

I have never written a serious . This one however, and tonight, is different. Let me tell you why.

For over the past 10 odd years or so, from what I believe to be the age at which I was able to make judgements about people & events, albeit in an amateur manner, to this present day, I have been privileged to meet & make acquaintance with large and diverse categories of people. Many of such acquaintances have coloured my outlook & philosophy towards life - especially with real life stories of love, peace & freedom. Most of you would have heard many such stories, & if not, perhaps read it in the umpteen number of 'Chicken soup for the _ soul" books.
Which is why I say that tonight is different.

Tonight is not about love, it's not about peace & certainly not about freedom. Tonight is about hatred, violence & restriction. Ever so often, we find the ubiquitous FWD which, as a response to some tragedy or outrage, exhorts the reader to 'pull out all stops' to ensure that such things do not happen again. While many carry with it a righteous sense of indignation, many often cross the line to vengeance.

Why do I suddenly mention this? Because the hatred, violence & restriction mentioned earlier are all ingredients of this 'thirst for vengeance'.Over the past few years & even more in the recent couple of months, our country has been scarred by the most violent & brutal of acts.
Let me be more specific now. Since the late 1980's, Pakistan sponsored terrorism has been a constant threat India has had to face. Then came the Babri Majid demolition in 1992, followed by the Mumbai bomb blasts in '93. And while the mainland went quiet for a few years after that, trouble in the North-East had only just started. Kargil in '99 was against a national enemy. Then the 2002 Godhra incident & the following riots. Now in the past few months, bomb blasts have ripped through major parts of the country.Why am I recounting all these? Or am I? The truth is - I needn't. you all remember it, even though you (and I) were probably toddlers when some of these tragedies unfolded.The truth is - we, despite our so called education, carry in our hearts, hatred, prejudice & intolerance.The truth is - our parents, teachers, elders have all contributed to this. Whether through consistent criticism & abuse about a caste / religion / language group or through exposure to their own opinions (tempered through their experiences / rumours / whatever)

Let me finally come to the point of why I am writing this piece. Because I believe, all this intolerance & hatred is reaching a crest, a peak... The air is already combustible - it only needs a small spark now to light it into a raging fire. One that will not stop, not subdue, not die out, till it has taken with it a good number of fathers, mothers, brothers & sisters.

I personally do not believe this can be stopped - the air did not become combustible in a couple of years - rather, the vapours were released years, even decades ago.. but just as the country has moved into a modern century, the mindsets have moved into a medieval period.I am however hopeful, that somehow we will manage to see what we have become & rectify, as much as possible, our nature.

How did I come to this conclusion, you may very well ask me. There are a plethora of reasons for my believing & predicting this. Too many to recount actually. But I will lay this out to you, in as honestly & as clearly, as possible.

1. The hatred, violence & prejudices mainly stem from fundamental differences between Hindus & Muslims (religion, in short). While differences have always existed, the interesting point is that discrimination has increased to unprecedented levels in recent years. And while this increase stems mainly from Islamic fundamentalism, amongst other reasons, it is not justified by generalisation of any sorts. Terrorists are terrorists, and they ought to be treated as such. There can be no doubt about that. Unfortunately though, this has coloured the prejudices of a majority of the people & now, the poison has spread to the very people who ought to protect the citizens - police, defence forces, community leaders etc. This in turn is fuelling more & more 'recruits' into terrorism - tell me, especially the ones amongst you who secretly harbour such bigotry, isn't it possible that you could become a member of a mob out to seek vengeance for the brutal bomb blast which killed your brother? isn't it possible that you could become a member of a terrorist gang seeking to right the wrong committed on your sister by this fanatical mob? You may say no - but the truth is, you'll never know until such a thing does happen.. & so this cycle will continue, as it has been over the past few years and months, & spread wider and become more violent each time.

2. Another level of hatred & intolerance is that of caste - very subtle most of the times, but more poisonous then can possibly be imagined. I had seen it from an early age (who hasn't - remember that servant / sweeper etc?) & while we have graduated into adults, we still carry our little biasness around. You might think that it's mild - let me then tell you, just to quote an example, about the Ranbir Sena (a 'higher' caste) who drive around brutally raping & murdering women in the badlands of bihar. whose the higher caste now?

3. Region & language - ask any assamese about how much he hates the bengalis, or any kannadiga about the tamils & vice versa.. forget even that - i can count amongst you - my so called friends - a majority who speak derisively of that "illad / madrasi' or 'north indian / dilli wala'... how long will you continue to colour your world according to the colour of your brothers' skin?

4. Inequality - with rising forex reserves, massive urbanisation & imported cultures, it is easy to pooh-pooh this factor. In response, i ask you to visit some villages in the country - you will be surprised.. the census figures aren't wrong when they list 70% of india as rural (2001).. the levels of inequality have increased greatly in the past 5 years or so.. class wars will soon join this deadly cocktail of carnage..

This blog is already too long & I could continue listing my reasons for the doomsday prophesy i made a few paragraphs earlier. But some other time - in person possibly..

For now, understand this - INDIA WILL BURN - ravaged & torn, raped & mutilated, homeless & bleeding - till we have all lost someone or even everyone we hold dear.As I said earlier, I believe we are already too late to stop this, but I am sending this mail in the dim hope that maybe we will rise above our differences & prejudices to not only prevent this from happening, but also ushering in a little sensibility.

Some days back, Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of USA. I strongly suggest listening to his victory speech
( http://elections.nytimes.com/2008/results/president/speeches/obama-victory-speech.html)
The reason why I mention this, is that from an early age, we have been exposed to Hollywood, KFC, 'western culture', MTV etc etc - carrying mostly a negative / hedonistic image of the country. Have you ever questioned why would our grandfathers (obviously more conservative than us), 30-40 years ago, have wanted to go or even went, to 'amerika'?the answer, as obama himself put it, is to be found on this night. when someone of intellect, understanding, tolerance can rise to be the country's leader - a plan, "not hatched in the halls of Washington", but rather the backyards of homes where people campaigned & believed in that someone to lead them better - that America is not dead yet.. so remove the pictures of Mc D & supermodels from your mind & ask if is is possible in our country to cut across racial, religious, political, ethnic lines & serve the nation & its citizens with honesty & zeal...
you already know the answer...

If it has to start, it has to start with you.. are you willing to change?
Thank you for your patience

Mama i came back home

Well i am jobless now!! Literally yes. Two years of stupendous service in the automobile manufacturing sector is the only thing i can boot about right now, and if u ask me how was the experience? I have only one sentence ....

They are all crazy out there.

For the uninitiated, I advise they pick up a copy of the Arthur Hailey's cult paperback "Wheels" and delve into it for a considerable amount of time (helps when u are jobless u see)

Well the man has very vividly portrayed how the big bad world of the automobile industry works.

There are engineers doing jobs of clerks, clerks doing jobs of engineers, engineers doing masonry, cooking, eating and what not. A most motley mix i must say. There are the fame hungry quality guys who expect a small aesthetic part to be manufactured at precision levels that might put NASA and EADS to shame. There are the R&D men, who always seem to the narrow the tolerances -yeah both manufacturing and humane. I often used to ponder whether these guys were paid only to make the life of manufacturing engineers miserable. Now i know what i suspected was true. There were the purchase guys and also the suppliers who shared a perennial love hate relationship. Stuff more romantic and dangerous than a Romeo or Juliet or maybe a Bonnie and Clyde.

And then there were us. The bunch of guys whom they affectionately (pun intended) referred to as the Production Engineers. They slogged . They took in beatings ,both from man and machine. They used to be the favourite punchbag of the Senior Management and the Auditors alike. There used to be this famous saying " Is the project getting delayed? Blame it on the PE guys.." Well 5 out of 10 times that might have been true.. but not always.. not always.

It was insane. The charged up atmosphere. The potentiality of all conversations, with the other departments ending up in verbal duels most often than not. The silly blame games..yeah played even by the grownups and of course, the whims of some eccentric project manager or a megalomaniacal Department Head.

Do the Marines get trained to become harder or tougher than us? Well i think not. Ask a Marine to work in this line.. I am pretty much sure that shooting down a Taliban baddie would be easier for him than digging into this madness.

But did i hate this chaos? Might be initially. Yeah when life seemed to be all rosy, fresh out of school. But the Joker of Dark Knight had aptly remarked "Madness you know is like gravity. All it takes is a little....push". I was slowly sucked into this lunatic vortex. I soaked myself into this addictive,mass derangement and became a part of it. I loved it

Its difficult to get out of it... impossible to get over it.